Name: Tess
Home: St. Louis
For-Profit Parties
I received an email a week ago from a friend who wishes to remain anonymous--I'll call her Ernestine (not her real name). Ernestine writes,
So I thought I'd ask my readers--do you get invited to for-profit parties? Do you go? If not, how do you turn down invitations tactfully?
At first I hated the concept of such parties. Like Ernestine, I'm not much of a shopper. We're on a budget that simply doesn't allow for $200 makeup, no matter how "worth it" people claim it is. I don't like the mingling of social interactions with the marketplace, and the idea that social pressure would entice people to buy things they wouldn't ordinarily buy makes me uncomfortable.
The nice thing about the social networks around here, though, is that you can have a perfectly fine social life without buying and selling. Like my friend, I wouldn't be comfortable going if I knew I wasn't going to buy anything. So far I've turned down invitations to all such parties (although I'm still debating about whether I want to go to one tomorrow where I might actually want to buy something). In general, I'd much rather go out for a drink or a movie or a book club.
I've discovered, though, that some people love that kind of parties. When people post on one of the local bulletin boards that they're hosting one, there's usually an enthusiastic response from people who want to buy whatever the products are. One woman I know is practically evangelical about how much she loves having her own business. Now as far as I'm concerned, if other people want to host and attend the parties, that's fine by me.
I have this stupid problem, which I thought maybe you could post as a survey on your blog (but for God's sake don't mention me). At least half of the women in my/my child's playgroup sell either Pampered Chef, Home Interiors, Longaberger baskets, educational kiddie toys, or some other Tupperware/Amway pyramid-scheme-type product. I hate shopping and I hate buying things under duress, and I am basically very cheap. However, I don't want to be a snob or appear to be too much of a cheapskate. Do I (a) turn down invitations to all these parties because I won't buy anything (so as not to be a cheapskate), (b) attend but not buy anything, (so as to not be a snob), (c) attend and buy something that I don't want, or (d) find another playgroup?
So I thought I'd ask my readers--do you get invited to for-profit parties? Do you go? If not, how do you turn down invitations tactfully?
At first I hated the concept of such parties. Like Ernestine, I'm not much of a shopper. We're on a budget that simply doesn't allow for $200 makeup, no matter how "worth it" people claim it is. I don't like the mingling of social interactions with the marketplace, and the idea that social pressure would entice people to buy things they wouldn't ordinarily buy makes me uncomfortable.
The nice thing about the social networks around here, though, is that you can have a perfectly fine social life without buying and selling. Like my friend, I wouldn't be comfortable going if I knew I wasn't going to buy anything. So far I've turned down invitations to all such parties (although I'm still debating about whether I want to go to one tomorrow where I might actually want to buy something). In general, I'd much rather go out for a drink or a movie or a book club.
I've discovered, though, that some people love that kind of parties. When people post on one of the local bulletin boards that they're hosting one, there's usually an enthusiastic response from people who want to buy whatever the products are. One woman I know is practically evangelical about how much she loves having her own business. Now as far as I'm concerned, if other people want to host and attend the parties, that's fine by me.
posted by Tess | 12:50 PM
4 Comments:
Depends on the product - Yay for Pampered Chef and Tupperware. Boo for Longaberger, Candlelite and jewelry shows.
Since we belong to a pretty big church, it seems like my wife gets 1-2 invitations a week for product parties (sometimes 2 for the same product in the same week) and easily turns down every single on. She might go to a party if its a product she doesn't know (and always with a budget), but for the most part, can't do it. A polite decline (with a good reason, not "I'd rather give birth to a gorilla than go to a pampered chef party") usually does the trick and dispells any thoughts of snobbery. Once we went to a pampered chef battle of the sexes with lots of alcohol, which, since I'm not a buddy-buddy kind of guy, meant I drank a lot of it and, of course, by the end of the night, I was the freaking center of attention. Classic.
side note: I wish guys had parties, for like guns or knives or tools.
I'm totally for the guy party idea. I vote for a beer tasting: five different micro-brew pilsner's one month. Five dark stoudts the next. And then end it up with a case of Yuengling and five different kinds of bacon.
I wouldn't go if I wasn't going to buy anything. There's usually something small I can get for a gift or for myself. I hosted one party and spent quite a bit on food/alcohol - as it was a great mixer of various friends. That said, it's like gambling - you plan what you'll spend and go enjoy the experience. If you truly can't afford it - I wouldn't go. But then again, I hate people who go to elaborate weddings, buy a new dress, etc. and then totally cheap-out on a gift for the bride/groom so go figure.
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