Name: Tess
Home: St. Louis
In the Middle of Things
A friend pointed out that I haven't been writing many personal updates on my blog lately. This is partly because pregnancy makes me grouchy, and I don't really want to turn my blog into a big whinefest about heartburn, fatigue, insomnia, leg cramps, impatience, shortness of breath, dizziness, and general pregnancy malaise.
After my C-section with Ben, I am hoping for natural childbirth this time--which means this baby will come according to her own schedule. On one level, I think that's the wisest course of action, but the Type A part of myself is going crazy because I have no idea what will happen when. I alternate between pushing myself to get things done (I wore myself out painting the nursery a nice neutral masking tape color) and surfing the internet in a zombie-like state.
Yesterday when I was talking to my mom, she mentioned that my grandmother is now on the waiting list to move up to the next level of care in her retirement community. Grandma Jean--my last remaining grandparent--has been growing increasingly disoriented, and her eyesight has been failing for several years due to macular degeneration. Her doctor has recommended that she give up her two-bedroom apartment and move into a room in the main building. She'll have to leave her small garden and give away most of her trinkets and furniture. Her beloved fat dog will move in with my parents one mile down the road.
I woke in the early morning and started to cry. I hate to think of my grandmother spending most of her time in one room. I hate that in many ways she's living a best case scenario: with family nearby and adequate money, in a quality retirement community. In the darkness, I got up and cried in the living room for a while as I thought how it must feel to lose a husband, lose eyesight, lose familiar surroundings.
And when I slipped back into my warm bed--with my husband beside me, my son down the hall, the baby swaying inside me--I resolved to be grateful to be in the middle of things right now. Yes, I'm worn out due to the demands of writing articles, organizing workshops, carrying a baby, maintaining a house, managing a 4-year-old, and shopping for Christmas presents--but when I take the long view, a lot of my complaints start to look like ephermeral blessings.
After my C-section with Ben, I am hoping for natural childbirth this time--which means this baby will come according to her own schedule. On one level, I think that's the wisest course of action, but the Type A part of myself is going crazy because I have no idea what will happen when. I alternate between pushing myself to get things done (I wore myself out painting the nursery a nice neutral masking tape color) and surfing the internet in a zombie-like state.
Yesterday when I was talking to my mom, she mentioned that my grandmother is now on the waiting list to move up to the next level of care in her retirement community. Grandma Jean--my last remaining grandparent--has been growing increasingly disoriented, and her eyesight has been failing for several years due to macular degeneration. Her doctor has recommended that she give up her two-bedroom apartment and move into a room in the main building. She'll have to leave her small garden and give away most of her trinkets and furniture. Her beloved fat dog will move in with my parents one mile down the road.
I woke in the early morning and started to cry. I hate to think of my grandmother spending most of her time in one room. I hate that in many ways she's living a best case scenario: with family nearby and adequate money, in a quality retirement community. In the darkness, I got up and cried in the living room for a while as I thought how it must feel to lose a husband, lose eyesight, lose familiar surroundings.
And when I slipped back into my warm bed--with my husband beside me, my son down the hall, the baby swaying inside me--I resolved to be grateful to be in the middle of things right now. Yes, I'm worn out due to the demands of writing articles, organizing workshops, carrying a baby, maintaining a house, managing a 4-year-old, and shopping for Christmas presents--but when I take the long view, a lot of my complaints start to look like ephermeral blessings.
posted by Tess | 10:40 AM
2 Comments:
It's good hearing from you. will you be going home for Thanksgiving?
Proper diet along with specific nutrient supplementation has been shown in a number of peer review research studies to both help prevent macular degeneration as well as protect vision for those with macular degeneration. Lutein, along with its sister carotenoid zeaxanthin, are found both in the retina and lens of the eyes, and act as both strong antioxidants as well as filters against UVA/UVB and blue light, protecting the eyes against the damaging effects of these spectrums of light. In effect, they act like a pair of internal sunglasses.
For more related research on vision and nutrition, see the "Research" section at www.naturaleyecare.com
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