Name: Tess
Home: St. Louis
Transitions
Last week, Ben started going to his new preschool. For the past three years, he has been going to "school" two full days while I worked. Once the new baby comes, though, I won't be working as many hours (since child care for two kids isn't practical, given our budget), so we decided to switch Ben to preschool five mornings a week.
At the beginning of September, I became anxious about his transition. Would he miss his old school? Would it be hard to get him out the door every weekday? Had we made a mistake?
I needn't have worried. A week into it, Ben adores his new school. He loves the art projects, the snacks, the playground, and the toys. I think it's great for him to be with other kids who will be going to kindergarten the same year he does. Today he is staying for extended day (until 2:30), and all weekend he kept saying, "Monday is a special day! I get to eat lunch at my new school!"
Instead, I've realized the transition has been hard for me. The rhythms of my work day are different; instead of having two long days to do a little of every project, I need to do focused work in smaller chunks. It's been good for me to get up and moving every morning, but I miss our leisurely trips to the YMCA, the library, or the botanical garden. And I realize that as soon as I establish a new equilibrium, the new baby will appear and change everything all over again.
I used to think that artists were creative people who didn't need routines and schedules. Certainly, some are--but I like to know what to expect. Yes, I like being creative and having freedom, but for me a routine gives me the mental space to be free. Last time around, dealing with a newborn was stressful because I never knew what was going to happen next. Was he going to sleep for four hours and give me time to work or nap, or was he going to wake up crying in another moment?
I know I need to trust that even though this new baby will bring changes, we will establish equilibrium again. A friend told me once, "When you have a baby, your world constricts--but it's only temporary." It all goes back to mindfulness: living in the moment and responding to the world around you as it is now. Right now, I'm spending the morning at my desk working--and I'm grateful for that.
* * *
Ben strikes a few poses on his first day of school:
At the beginning of September, I became anxious about his transition. Would he miss his old school? Would it be hard to get him out the door every weekday? Had we made a mistake?
I needn't have worried. A week into it, Ben adores his new school. He loves the art projects, the snacks, the playground, and the toys. I think it's great for him to be with other kids who will be going to kindergarten the same year he does. Today he is staying for extended day (until 2:30), and all weekend he kept saying, "Monday is a special day! I get to eat lunch at my new school!"
Instead, I've realized the transition has been hard for me. The rhythms of my work day are different; instead of having two long days to do a little of every project, I need to do focused work in smaller chunks. It's been good for me to get up and moving every morning, but I miss our leisurely trips to the YMCA, the library, or the botanical garden. And I realize that as soon as I establish a new equilibrium, the new baby will appear and change everything all over again.
I used to think that artists were creative people who didn't need routines and schedules. Certainly, some are--but I like to know what to expect. Yes, I like being creative and having freedom, but for me a routine gives me the mental space to be free. Last time around, dealing with a newborn was stressful because I never knew what was going to happen next. Was he going to sleep for four hours and give me time to work or nap, or was he going to wake up crying in another moment?
I know I need to trust that even though this new baby will bring changes, we will establish equilibrium again. A friend told me once, "When you have a baby, your world constricts--but it's only temporary." It all goes back to mindfulness: living in the moment and responding to the world around you as it is now. Right now, I'm spending the morning at my desk working--and I'm grateful for that.
* * *
Ben strikes a few poses on his first day of school:
posted by Tess | 9:25 AM
1 Comments:
Equilibrium may return, but you will define it differently.
As for Ben - I'm sorry you were worried about his transition. You & Mr. You have done a fantastic job with this kid - he is not only intelligent, but emotionally secure as well (as much as a 4 yr old can be, of course.)
And just think, the best of all is that after December, you'll be able to have chocolate martinis!! I'm coming out and we'll make pitchers full.....
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