Excuses, Excuses

I always seem to be running a little bit late. If you ask why, I can give a reason: I hit traffic, for example, or the baby needed to be changed right before I left. When I was teaching, I heard a range of creative excuses for books left unread and essays left unwritten.

Often, in our everyday interactions, we don't challenge other people's excuses. They serve as a social lubricant, an acknowledgement of a minor breakdown without an actual apology. My friend Lauren once tried to categorize the main subtexts for different excuses. She and I discussed it on our trip across the country three years ago. Here are the main ones I remember:

1) It wasn't a priority. This subtext covers excuses like "I was so busy last week, I didn't have a chance to do it" or "Around the holidays, it's hard to get anything done."

2) I planned poorly. This subtext covers excuses like "I ran into traffic" or "I got lost on the way here." If you had been thinking ahead, you could have left early or looked at a map.

3) I was incapable of doing it. This one seems to come up a lot at work; sometimes coworkers don't have the skills or the knowledge to be able to complete a particular task. "I didn't have the right software" or "I didn't understand the assignment" fall into this category.

4) I didn't want to. This is a stronger version of "It wasn't a priority." The category includes excuses like "It was a really big pile of dishes" or "I don't really like housework."

I haven't included outright lies, such as "I turned that paper in," when a student didn't even start it. The subtexts can work together; if something is not a priority for you, for example, you're unlikely to plan well.

I find these categories useful; now sometimes when I'm giving or receiving an excuse, I try to figure out which category it falls into. Sometimes, doing so helps me plan better next time. Sometimes, I don't offer an excuse and just say simply, "I'm sorry I'm late."

Can you think of other kinds of excuses?