Name: Tess
Home: St. Louis
Getting to Know You
Most of my friends are about 1000 miles away, and sometimes that makes me sad. But in an attempt to be well-adjusted, I've been trying to meet new people in the St. Louis area. I decided to lower the pressure on myself and try to make acquaintances, not friends.
My friend standards are way too high. Take my friend Kaela, for example. Before the kiddos came along, my husband and I would have dinner with Kaela and her husband once a week. After the kiddos, we scheduled outings around naptimes and feedings. I've known Kaela since we were in a play together my freshman year in college. (She was Goody Nurse, I was Elizabeth Proctor in No Refund Theatre's production of The Crucible.) The next year, we were roommates. We have celebrated practically every New Year's Eve together. We had kids within 6 months of each other. She helped save my sanity the first year of motherhood. Where on earth am I going to find someone who can compare to a friendship of 11 years?
So I'm going to make acquaintences and see what happens. This morning, one of the moms in Ben's class invited me to join a play group she's in. That brings to 3 the total of mom's groups I've found out about (4 if you count La Leche League). I also got email addresses or phone numbers from one woman at church and another at LLL. Which brings me to my next problem: follow-through. It feels really weird to call people out of the blue. But it's probably worse not to call or email.
(And here I pause to be grateful that I'm not a man and not expected to take the initiative in romantic relationships; clearly, if I were a man I'd still be a bachelor.)
I'm about to go to my first book club meeting for Midcounty Moms. I hope it goes well. But at the very least, I get to put on clean clothes, leave the house, and discuss fiction with some other people. Here's to acquaintances.
My friend standards are way too high. Take my friend Kaela, for example. Before the kiddos came along, my husband and I would have dinner with Kaela and her husband once a week. After the kiddos, we scheduled outings around naptimes and feedings. I've known Kaela since we were in a play together my freshman year in college. (She was Goody Nurse, I was Elizabeth Proctor in No Refund Theatre's production of The Crucible.) The next year, we were roommates. We have celebrated practically every New Year's Eve together. We had kids within 6 months of each other. She helped save my sanity the first year of motherhood. Where on earth am I going to find someone who can compare to a friendship of 11 years?
So I'm going to make acquaintences and see what happens. This morning, one of the moms in Ben's class invited me to join a play group she's in. That brings to 3 the total of mom's groups I've found out about (4 if you count La Leche League). I also got email addresses or phone numbers from one woman at church and another at LLL. Which brings me to my next problem: follow-through. It feels really weird to call people out of the blue. But it's probably worse not to call or email.
(And here I pause to be grateful that I'm not a man and not expected to take the initiative in romantic relationships; clearly, if I were a man I'd still be a bachelor.)
I'm about to go to my first book club meeting for Midcounty Moms. I hope it goes well. But at the very least, I get to put on clean clothes, leave the house, and discuss fiction with some other people. Here's to acquaintances.
posted by Tess | 5:45 PM
2 Comments:
How can you go wrong with a book club? You'll probably enjoy discussion with likeminded folks, but books...I mean...BOOKS! You can't go wrong. :)
I hope you had a great time out.
Hh
It's difficult, I know. My best friend lives seven hours away, my family about four hours, and my husband's family and friends are in England. Sucks. But acquaintences can be fun. And that's something, at least. It's good for the kids too. I haven't made any friends close enough yet to consider playgroups "my time" - it's still something I mark on the calendar as being a kids' function.
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