Why I Like Our Artificial Christmas/Holiday/Pagan Tree

Ben reaches for an ornament to add to the tree

When I was growing up, every year my family would drive out to a Christmas tree farm and cut down our tree down. In those days, Christmas tree farms didn't have a carnival atmosphere; there weren't tractors to pull people past stands selling cocoa. Oh, no--it was just us, tramping through the snow, examining row after row of trees. We'd attempt to reach a consensus among five people, and some of us would inevitably sulk. Then my parents would tie the tree to the top of the Volkswagon bus and drive home.

In elementary school, I wrote an essay about our ritual. It started something like, "In my family, we don't just buy our tree from someone selling evergreens in a slushy parking lot." I thought those were the choices: buying one from a parking lot, or cutting your own. Artificial trees weren't even on my radar. I just assumed they were somehow morally wrong, like using cake mix or eating dinner in front of the television.

The first year we were married, though, we bought an artificial tree. Since we spent most of Christmas break driving up I-95 and around Pennsylvania, it didn't make sense to get something that would need to be watered and would shed needles on the carpet. We agreed the tree was only temporary, but somehow, 6 years later, and we still have it. I was the one who lobbied to bring it with us when we moved. I had always thought that when we bought a real house, we'd get a real tree to go in it. But the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to deal with the hassle. Do we even own a saw? How much do trees cost, anyway?

Here's what I like about our artificial tree:

1.) It's already there. No arguing, no sulking. No thinking about it.
2.) It's free. Yes, I'm cheap. But that $40 we spent early in our marriage is looking like a good investment.
3.) It's symmetrical.
4.) It doesn't shed needles or need to be watered.
5.) It doesn't have to be disposed of every year.

Yes, I miss the walk in the woods, and the piney smell. I'm sure eventually we'll get a real tree. But for now, I'm growing fond of this one.