A Difficult Subject

Abortion. I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while now, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to write about it. But now, the day after the 33rd anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I will.

I have been pro-choice for as long as I can remember. We live in a time when abortion rights are being eroded, and control is being passed to the states. Here in Missouri, a new law strengthened parental consent requirements and made it illegal for adults to give minors information about nearby states without those requirements. Abortion opponents are pushing for a law that would let pharmacists opt out of dispensing Plan B—emergency contraception that prevents pregnancy by preventing fertilization or implantation, as the birth control pill and the IUD do. I worry about the slippery slope that could lead to the criminalization of some forms of birth control.

But I have done nothing to fight for women’s right to choose. Part of me believes this is a battle I should be fighting, and part of me doesn’t have the stomach for it.

Abortion is difficult to fight for. Even if you don’t believe it’s tantamount to murder—the killing of a full-fledged human being—it’s the death of something. Given my limited time and money, it’s hard for me to say that this cause takes priority over, say, donating food to the food bank.

I wonder if I’m selfish. At this point in my life, chances are remote that I would ever need or want an abortion. If I were to have an unintended pregnancy, I’d be able to care for and love the baby. When I was pregnant with Ben, Tom and I turned down the triple screen test on the grounds that we wouldn’t abort a baby with any of the problems the test screened for.

Being a parent has changed my perspective. I know what it’s like to care about a tiny clump of cells, to hear a prenatal heartbeat with desperate love. But I also know that I was fortunate to have my first pregnancy occur within the context of a loving marriage. Motherhood—from pregnancy forward—is a difficult enterprise, and I would not want to force it on other women. Knowing what a hard choice abortion must be for the women who choose it makes me even more adamant that it should be an option. If someone believes that is her best choice, I don’t think it’s my place to argue.

I believe that the best way to stop abortions is comprehensive sex education, coupled with empowering girls and women to have dreams that preclude teen pregnancy. When I was a teenager, I knew I wanted to go to college. I knew I wanted to be a writer. I knew having a baby too soon would interfere with those goals. I also wouldn’t have put up with a boyfriend who tried to pressure me into doing things I didn’t want to do.

But I also know I had a lot going for me as a teenager: loving, involved parents who valued education; good teachers; enough money that all my needs and some of my wants were met. If I ever have a daughter, I hope she’ll have strong goals and loving, thoughtful relationships. Many young women aren’t so lucky. And even young women with advantages make mistakes. I believe that abortion should be a legal option.

It makes me sad that some of the people who are most strongly anti-abortion also believe that teenagers shouldn’t be taught about birth control, and argue that emergency contraception shouldn’t be available. I agree with those people that there are too many abortions performed in the U.S. Keeping abortion legal, I would like to find ways to reduce that number. Why can’t we all work towards living wages, accessible birth control, affordable child care, and health care for everyone who needs it?

I don’t think abortion is desirable, but I think at times it can be the best option. I don’t want to promote it, but at the same time I think it should be available. So that’s why I’m not an activist right now. Or maybe my activism is starting right here, as I post these thoughts and try to decide on my next step.