Area Man Finishes Reading All the Headlines in The Onion Compendium Received as Holiday Present (Guest Blog)

St. Louis (AP)

Thomas Rodebaugh exceeded his own expectations this weekend, by his own account, when he finished reading the headlines of Embedded in America, a compendium of articles from satirical newspaper The Onion. Despite publishing their content online, The Onion maintains a signficant cash flow from publishing such compendia each year. Rodebaugh received the compendium as an acknowledged regifting from a friend, Michael Cramer, who had inadvertantly given the impression that he actually wanted a copy of his own.

Given how he received the book, Rodebaugh states that just reading the headlines over the course of 2 and a half months should not be minimized. “Well, everyone knows the headlines are the best part,” Rodebaugh stated. “Every once in a while I had to read some of the article’s text to figure out what the headline was about, though. Some of those things were from all the way back in 2004. I forgot that we used to think of Florida as the state ravaged by a hurricane.”

Rodebaugh’s wife, however, disputed his account. “He certainly seemed to have read some of the articles all the way through,” she contended. “At least, I sure hope he did before he decided to interrupt me and say that I should read an article.”

Upon reflection, Rodebaugh acknowledged having read some of the articles in their entirety, along with most of the community perspectives sections and the News in Brief sections. “But the News in Brief things are just extended headlines anyway,” Rodebaugh argued, “The main thing is that the articles really work better when they stop before they run out of funny.”

Rodebaugh added that he is especially pleased that he finished the book shortly before receiving About Time 1, an exhaustive episode guide and critical analysis of the first three years of the cult favorite science fiction programme Doctor Who. Rodebaugh plans to read this book in its entirety, cover to cover, in about a week.