Choose the Best Haiku
I am still not certain if I want to do a haiku a day for the month of January. Today, I tried to write one, but I came up with three versions and I'm not sure which I liked best. I thought I'd ask my readers: Which one do you think works best?
(Just a note: Last night I found a handbook of poetic forms on Kaela and Mike's bookshelf, and it said that since counting "sounds" in Japanese doesn't directly correspond to counting syllables in English, many poets writing haiku in English go for a poem of short-long-short lines, rather than a strict 5-7-5 syllable count. I decided to follow the loose interpretation of the form.)
#1:
golden light slants
across bare-treed mountain:
winter afternoon
#2:
golden light flows
over bare mountain trees:
a hawk circles
#3:
shadowed mountain--
but below, golden light
warms bare trees
(Just a note: Last night I found a handbook of poetic forms on Kaela and Mike's bookshelf, and it said that since counting "sounds" in Japanese doesn't directly correspond to counting syllables in English, many poets writing haiku in English go for a poem of short-long-short lines, rather than a strict 5-7-5 syllable count. I decided to follow the loose interpretation of the form.)
#1:
golden light slants
across bare-treed mountain:
winter afternoon
#2:
golden light flows
over bare mountain trees:
a hawk circles
#3:
shadowed mountain--
but below, golden light
warms bare trees
Name: Tess
Home: St. Louis
9 Comments:
I like the first one!
i would mix the first two lines of the first one with the last line of the second.
Ooo, I like that idea!
I *was* going to say #2, but now I agree with Tom.
fear my l33tness at haiku! w00t!
i am on the internets, rearranging ur haikus. . .
What does that first line mean? I feel like you're from Mars and I'm from Venus or something.
wikipedia is your friend:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L33t
i used it with irony. w00t!!!1!
Not sure why, but my favorite is the first, too.
Hh
Nah, I went back and I like Tom's idea!
Hh
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