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Reflections on art, politics, parenting, and life in the Midwest

Name: Tess Home: St. Louis

I'm now a graduate student in public health at Washington University in St. Louis... as well as a writer, parent, and teacher. I haven't updated this blog recently, but I may come back to it in the future.


E-mail: tessthompson (at) hotmail (dot) com

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Choose the Best Haiku

I am still not certain if I want to do a haiku a day for the month of January. Today, I tried to write one, but I came up with three versions and I'm not sure which I liked best. I thought I'd ask my readers: Which one do you think works best?

(Just a note: Last night I found a handbook of poetic forms on Kaela and Mike's bookshelf, and it said that since counting "sounds" in Japanese doesn't directly correspond to counting syllables in English, many poets writing haiku in English go for a poem of short-long-short lines, rather than a strict 5-7-5 syllable count. I decided to follow the loose interpretation of the form.)

#1:

golden light slants
across bare-treed mountain:
winter afternoon

#2:

golden light flows
over bare mountain trees:
a hawk circles

#3:

shadowed mountain--
but below, golden light
warms bare trees

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the first one!

9:23 PM  
Blogger tom said...

i would mix the first two lines of the first one with the last line of the second.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Tess said...

Ooo, I like that idea!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Kaela said...

I *was* going to say #2, but now I agree with Tom.

8:22 PM  
Blogger tom said...

fear my l33tness at haiku! w00t!

i am on the internets, rearranging ur haikus. . .

10:10 AM  
Blogger Tess said...

What does that first line mean? I feel like you're from Mars and I'm from Venus or something.

10:15 AM  
Blogger tom said...

wikipedia is your friend:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L33t

i used it with irony. w00t!!!1!

5:28 PM  
Blogger Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

Not sure why, but my favorite is the first, too.

Hh

11:30 PM  
Blogger Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

Nah, I went back and I like Tom's idea!

Hh

11:32 PM  

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