How many bloggers does it take to change a light bulb?

Photo by edgeplot on flickr.com

Our house is having electrical problems. Evidently, the previous owners didn’t ever clean the air conditioner. All the crap on the air conditioner caused it to become inefficient and melt the fuse box in a very disturbing way. Our home protection plan claims this is “maintenance-related” and therefore they won’t cover it. The electrician is coming today to fix things and leave us without power for hours and hours in the 90-degree heat, and then take enormous sums of money from us.

So in honor of this annoyance, I thought I’d share some light bulb jokes. (For a comprehensive listing of different kinds of light bulb jokes, click here.)

I’ll start with a sentimental favorite of mine. One Christmas, my grandmother gave my dad a joke book. He opened it and read a joke at random, without seeing where it was going:

Q. How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. They don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

The context—the whole family gathered around the tree on Christmas morning—made it terribly funny.

Here’s one I heard in college:

Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. That’s not funny.

I keep hoping if I’ll tell that joke enough, people will think I have a sense of humor even if I am a feminist.

The following joke was funny to the Americans at Oxford impatient with the pace of innovations:

Two Oxford dons were asked how many of them it took to change a light bulb. The one said indignantly “Change???” and the other queried in a small voice, “Light bulb?”

In honor of my psychologist husband:

Q. How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but first the light bulb has to want to change.

This one always strikes me funny:

Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Fish.

And, continuing a theme from previous days, we’ll end with two about the Bush administration, the second of which is a virtuoso performance. (Thanks to the comments on More Mama Than Writer for introducing me to these.)

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

Q. How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?
A.
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;
4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;
7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;
8. One to viciously smear #7;
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;
10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Have a favorite light bulb joke? Share it here! If there are any Republicans who read my blog, feel free to add to the diversity of the political humor.