Writers' Conferences: Not Just for Losers!

I had a great time in Kansas City. I was thrilled to put on my blazer and be a grown-up for a little while. (I'll confess: When I was trying on clothes to pack, I was so excited by looking like a professional that I took a picture. That's what being a stay-at-home-mom/stay-at-home writer will do to you.)

I went through a period of a few years when I avoided writers' groups and conferences. I had the arrogant mid-twentysomething attitude that, though some losers might need that kind of support, I should be able to succeed on my own. I'll go to a conference when I'm asked to present at one, I thought. So I worked by myself, and I worked hard. But then I had a baby, and I couldn't get my writing grove back. I was tired of working in isolation.

Six months after Ben was born, I realized that the way I had been thinking about writing would just leave me frustrated and alone. Networking is important. Having the support of other writers is important. You have to be comfortable with where you are as a writer before you can go anywhere new. I signed up for a conference in Philadelphia, and I enjoyed it.

Now I've realized that, as obvious as it sounds, you don't go to conferences because you've failed; you go because you're intending to succeed. I sat in sessions in which published novelists talked about their own failures; one woman, who had published half a dozen picture books, announced, "I just got a rejection yesterday if that makes y'all feel any better. We could all sit around and cry all day in this business, but it's more fun to go write." Being around other writers reminded me that rejection is part of the business, not something shameful. I also remembered why I read so much: it's a necessary part of knowing my trade.

My one-on-one pitch with the literary agent went well, and she asked me to send the first 50 pages of my novel. I'm trying not to get my hopes up--other agents have asked to read the full or partial manuscript and not offered representation--but I'm hopeful. I spent the 4-hour, rainy drive home thinking about my novel and my future projects. Yesterday, I revised the opening of my novel. After spending the weekend with other people who care passionately about reading and writing, I feel energized, and ready to work.